So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
