I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
