I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
