We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize