I just made out with a guy for $7.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
