it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
