i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
