Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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