TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
