I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
