she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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