I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
