Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
