throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize