a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
