i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
