You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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