It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I will die if light touches me.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
