I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
