I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize