time to smoke my breakfast
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
