I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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