is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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