Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
