Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Acid is not a monday night drug
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
