get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Drake has all the answers
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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