Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
