Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
