brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
