She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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