Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
