So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
send nudes
from the living room?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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