I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
