Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
