Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
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I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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