how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
