I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
