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Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
