Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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