i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
