it was like his penis was on wheels.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
