when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my liver is dry heaving
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
