Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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