Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
