Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
