I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize