He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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