when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize