We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
