Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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