i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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