who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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