Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
