yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
