My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
