Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
