Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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