Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My bed smells like the plague
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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