Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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