I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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