Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
