U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
