In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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