the new term for farting is butt boxing.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
